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SAMPLE SCRIPT ANALYSIS WORK |
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Script Coverage
Reader’s Report
TITLE: SCRIPT 2
GENRE: Christmas Drama AUTHOR: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX CIRCA: Present FORM/PGS: Novel/ 108 pgs
LOCALE:
Los
Angeles, Idaho SUBMITTED TO: XXXXXXXXXXX DATE: March 17, 1997 SUBMITTED BY:
XXXXXXXXXX STORY
ANALYST: Gene Wickham ELEMENTS: XXXXXXXXXXXXXX WRITING SAMPLE: BUDGET: LOW X MEDIUM HIGH
LOG LINE: Two elderly
women, looking forward to a lonely Christmas, decide to test the charitable
inclinations of one woman’s children by creating a fictitious elderly
woman and seeing if they will take her in for Christmas.
COMMENTS SUMMARY: This simple
and heartwarming Christmas story is a little short on dramatic depth
but still manages to provide some touching sentimental moments as well
as some typical holiday season optimism.
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SYNOPSIS SYNOPSIS: Two elderly women, FLORENCE and MYRNA await the upcoming
Christmas holidays in their senior citizens convalescent home. Florence
had been an actress who never married and had no children. She has
never had the chance to experience a genuinely traditional family
Christmas. Myrna on the other hand has nothing but fond family memories
of Christmas with her five children.
For the past several years Myrna has been flying back to Idaho
to spend Christmas with her children. However, after recently suffering
a heart attack, she has been forced to stay in California by her Doctor.
Florence yearns for the warm traditional Christmas filled with children
and Gingerbread houses which she had missed during her life. She begins
to think how wonderful it would be if some family would “adopt” a
grandmother just for Christmas. Cynicism overcomes her yearning and
she accepts the thought that no one will take in a stranger for the
holidays, even a little old lady. Acting defensively Myrna shows her
faith in her children by exclaiming that they would show charity to
anyone during the holidays, especially someone that she had recommended.
A plan is concocted between Florence
and Myrna. They create a fictitious character, GENEVIEVE CHRISTIAN
(85), a lonely widow living in a convalescent home in Idaho who is
estranged from her children living back east.
Florence is counting on the kindness of people to validate
her faith with the ideal Christmas spirit. Myrna wants to know if
the children she had raised are truly good people with charitable
hearts and souls. She calls her eldest child RICHARD in Idaho. Richard
is happy to hear from his mother but is unable to fulfill Myrna’s
request to accommodate Genevieve for Christmas. He offers instead
to take some cookies to Genevieve’s hospital. As Myrna concludes her
call, Florence gives her a cynical look. A nurse to the two women,
RUTH, comes into their room with dinner. A very pleasant and genuine
person, Ruth offers the two women candy bars to eat after their dinner.
Florence and Myrna love Ruth and are very appreciative of her care.
Next Myrna calls her daughter BEVERLY
whom she refers to as her miracle child. Beverly had almost died as
an infant. Married to a dentist, Myrna knows Beverly will help her
with Genevieve. However, like Richard, Beverly is unable to accommodate
her mother’s request. Sensing the disappointment, Florence tells Myrna
to stop the calls but she is persistent and decides to call her daughter
JOY. Ruth attempts to help Myrna and Florence turn in for the night
but Myrna is insistent on making her call to Joy. She recalls an incident
when she had accidentally thrown Joy’s goldfish down the drain. After
a trip to the pet shop, Myrna replaced the fish with two smaller ones
which amused everyone. Once again Myrna hears another apologetic decline.
Her next hope lies with her son DALE. She leaves a message at his
home after learning he has gone out for the evening. Ruth comes in
to help the two women prepare for bed. However, Myrna decides to wait
until Dale calls back. She receives another blow as Dale also declines
to help with Genevieve. Disappointed, Myrna provides no resistance
as Ruth comes in one last time to help the women into bed. The next
morning, Myrna awakens and decides to make her final call to her daughter
SUZIE. The mother of twins, Suzie had always taken in strays when
she was a child. The unexpected request surprises Suzie and she is
forced to turn down Myrna’s request as well. The next day, before Christmas Eve,
Myrna is given several presents which her family has sent her. Florence
receives a few gifts from acquaintances as well. Concerned about how
she had raised her children and the values she had given them, Myrna
is unable to leave behind the sad image of Genevieve. Later, while
she and Florence are taking a midday nap, Myrna is awakened by two
small angels in her bedroom doorway. A closer look reveals them to
be the twin daughters of Suzie. But it is no dream. Soon the twins
are followed by the rest of the family who parade into Myrna and Florence’s
room filled with holiday cheer. This had all been planned earlier
which explains why they couldn’t accommodate Genevieve. Myrna is overwhelmed
by this surprising show of love. However, when she learns Richard
has gone to bring Genevieve from Idaho to California, she is forced
to admit the hoax. The family is moved by the confession but do not
lessen their enthusiastic love for Myrna. Looking to fill the void
left by the fictitious Genevieve, Myrna’s grandchildren ask Florence
to join them at their rented beach house for Christmas. Florence is
visibly moved and when she hears about their plans to bake a gingerbread
house, her holiday wishes are complete. |
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GENERAL COMMENTS: The book
“XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX” works well within its short literary form, clearly
driving home the story’s moral and emotional drama. However, this simplicity
causes a problem in providing a dramatically deeper story for a film
adaptation. Still, the basic story has a good emotional foundation which
should allow the book to expand into several promising directions. STRENGTHS OF MATERIAL: Traditional
Christmas elements, revolving around the family and the need to belong,
fill this story with potentially ripe holiday drama. With Myrna as the
central focus, the feeling she experiences by being apart from her family,
as well her eventual disappointment with her children’s less than charitable
attitudes, generates sympathy for her character. Set against an emotional
holiday background, the appreciation for both Myrna and Florence’s loneliness
is moving. WEAKNESS OF MATERIAL: The simple
premise, while effective in the book, is hindered by a low sense of
drama. In “It’s A Wonderful Life” there was a great deal of external
forces working on George Bailey causing his eventual loss of faith to
be very dramatic. Myrna’s loss of faith is appreciated but doesn’t quite
generate enough drama to draw sufficient interest. Florence barely contributes
to the drama. However, she is the one person who needs the sympathy
the most. She needs to open up and involve herself more in the plot
in order for her Christmas wish to pay off dramatically at the end.
Technically, the calls to Myrna’s various children, which becomes a
vehicle for her contact with the past, becomes too predictable with
the same pattern of drama occurring each time. POTENTIAL FOR DEVELOPMENT / IMPROVEMENT: Using the
book as a starting point, enough material is available to guide this
story into a promising screenplay. Several decisions need to be kept
in mind including expanding Myrna’s past recollections and more involvement
and personal exploration of Florence’s character. Myrna’s family get
together at the end might be more fulfilling if her children actually
have a change of heart instead of pulling a surprise on her. Also, it
doesn’t seem to be much of a sacrifice to give up Christmas in Idaho
for a beachfront vacation home. Still, with a lot of sentimental support,
the story has a good start and should generate a lot of heart-felt holiday
season interest. |